I Know Why
by katiecat23
Summary: NCIS high school AU. Ziva David came to D.C. looking for a better life, and she's sure she has found it. But when things go wrong and families are torn apart, she doesn't know where to turn. Can she fix the life she's made for herself before everything she's ever wanted is taken away?
1. Chapter 1

**I Know Why**

**Disclaimer: **All the characters you recognize aren't mine.

XXX

Chapter 1

It was the first day of sophomore year. Fifteen year-old Ziva David had just moved to Washington D.C. from Israel, and was the "new girl" everyone in high school was talking about. Her older brother Ari was also going to high school with her, but he'd be a senior. Talia was too young for high school; she was entering sixth grade.

Ziva, nervous to start school in America, had slept poorly the night before. She had rushed to get ready that morning: putting on a worn yet cute pair of jeans, a simple black t-shirt, and her navy blue running shoes. She had joined Ari at the bus stop and waved goodbye to Talia as she left with their mother.

The bus ride was noisy for such an early time. Ziva found herself sitting with a girl her age named Abby. She had introduced herself right away, and Ziva, though shocked, liked the girl immediately. Abby had jet black hair, pulled up in two pigtails. She wore a short red and black skirt and a black tank top. She was obviously Goth, but that didn't stop her nice and bubbly disposition.

Their bus pulled up to the school, which was already crawling with kids. Ziva, holding on to her schedule and map of the school like a lifeline, made her way slowly through the crowd until she reached her locker. There was a boy already at the locker next to hers. He was pretty cute; green eyes and messy brown hair. He had a nice smile, and grinned her way as she walked up.

"Hi!" he said cheerfully, sticking out his hand. "I'm Tony DiNozzo. Who are you?" Ziva shook his hand and smiled shyly.

"My name is Ziva David. I just moved here from Israel."

Tony's eyes widened. "Israel? That's pretty cool. How do you like D.C. so far?"

Ziva shrugged and spun the dial on her locker, concentrating on getting the numbers right. "I have not seen much of it yet. But it is very nice so far." She pulled her locker open and checked her schedule - Biology first. She grabbed her notebook, her accordion folder, and a pen. Tony peered over her shoulder at her schedule.

"Oh hey, would you look at that," he said. "We're in all of the same classes!" Ziva smiled and shut her locker. She was glad to have someone she knew in her classes. Right before she could answer him, a group of three girls walked up to their lockers. Tony groaned quietly, rolling his eyes. Ziva shrunk back against her locker slightly, not knowing who these girls were, but Tony obviously disliked them. One girl was definitely the leader; she had reddish brown hair and light brown eyes. She was pretty enough, but looked a little snotty. She, followed by the two other girls, stopped in front of Tony.

"Have a nice summer, DiNozzo?" the girl asked.

"It was wonderful, Todd," he retorted sharply. Tony turned to Ziva. "Ziva, meet Caitlin Todd. This is her posse, Jeanne Benoit and Erica Barrett." The girls took in Ziva, who looked back at them casually, trying to avoid their x-ray eyes. Caitlin made a slight face, and then turned back toward Tony.

"It's good to see you've made a friend, DiNozzo," she snipped. Caitlin turned back to Ziva. "But don't listen to a word he says. He can't even get names right. I'm _Kate_, and this is Jeanne and _E.J._"

Ziva nodded. "I'm Ziva."

"I gathered that," Kate drawled sarcastically, and the other girls laughed. "Well, I'll see you around. Bye, losers." Kate and her posse left, leaving Tony and Ziva to walk the opposite way toward the biology classroom.

Ziva cleared her throat hesitantly. "Who are they?"

Tony exhaled loudly. "Girls you really don't want to get involved with. They're not the nicest people, and they'll taunt you over anything. I dated Kate for, like, three weeks in seventh grade before breaking up with her because I hadn't liked her in the first place. She makes it her sworn duty to annoy the shit out of me every day of my life, except for over the summer when she's away. She's recruited E.J. and Jeanne to bother me too."

"Oh," Ziva said. Before she could say anything else, Abby came running up to them, grinning broadly.

"Hey Tony!" she squealed.

"'Morning Abby," he replied. "Do you know Ziva?"

Abby nodded. "She's on my bus. Hello again!" she said with a smile. Ziva smiled and waved. "Have you seen Tim yet?"

Tony shook his head. "Nope. The only people I've seen are Kate and her posse." Abby made a face. Just then, another boy came up to them from the opposite direction as Abby. He had sandy brown hair and hazel-green eyes. He smiled cheerfully as he joined them.

"Oh hey, Timmy!" Abby exclaimed, giving him a hug. Tim shook hands with Tony.

"Who's this?" he asked, gesturing to Ziva.

"Ziva David," she introduced herself. "I just moved here. It's nice to meet you." Tim nodded and reciprocated the greeting. The class began entering the room, and the four walked into the class, choosing a table where the four of them could sit together. When their teacher began talking, Ziva and Tim took notes, Abby doodled, and Tony feigned sleep. Ziva smiled as she observed her new friends. They were all very different, she observed, but she liked it.

XXX

Ziva and Tony had lunch fifth period with some of the seniors. Abby and Tim, unfortunately along with Kate and the posse of girls, had fourth period lunch. While the two were in the lunch line, Ari came up and joined them.

"How's your day going, Zi?" Ari asked.

"Pretty good," she said. Ziva turned to Tony. "Tony, this is my brother Ari. Ari, this is Tony." The two boys shook hands. They all grabbed their lunches and went off to their different lunch tables. Tony led Ziva to a table that had three boys already sitting there. They introduced themselves to Ziva: Jimmy Palmer, Ned Dorneget (Tony called him Dorney), and Ray Cruz. Ray told them that Adam Eshel, his cousin, was also part of their group, but was sick. The three boys occupied one side of the table, so Tony and Ziva sat on the other.

"Is Ari your only sibling?" Tony asked as they ate.

"No," Ziva replied. "I have a younger sister, Talia, but we call her Tali. She is eleven. Do you have any siblings?"

Tony shook his head. "Abby and Tim have siblings, though. Abby's brother is Luka and Tim has a sister, Sarah." Ziva nodded, and the rest of their lunch continued in silence, broken only by the laughter of the other boys as they told lame jokes.

At the end of the day, Tony and Ziva got ready to leave, all the while Tony complaining about the homework they'd been assigned. It made Ziva laugh. "I'm going to have so many issues with this stuff," Tony grumbled. Ziva smiled. "Do you have a cell phone?"

"Of course," she answered immediately. "Why?"

"Let's exchange numbers," he offered. "I'm not kidding about me needing help, and it might be useful to you." He grinned at her and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay." They exchanged numbers quickly, and walked outside. "I will see you tomorrow, Tony," she called as they split to go on their buses.

"Bye Ziva!" he called back. Ziva bounded up the stairs behind Abby, noticing that Jeanne was right behind her. Frowning, she sat down with Abby.

"Since when is Jeanne on our bus?" she asked.

Abby rolled her eyes. "Ugh, Jeanne Benoit. She's so annoying. But yeah, she lives in our neighborhood. It's bad, especially when Kate and E.J. go over her house."

"Sounds pretty bad," Ziva agreed. Abby nodded and pulled out her iPhone. She put in her headphones, and Ziva pulled out her iPod and did the same.

XXX

At dinner that night, Ziva's parents asked all about their first day. Tali was very enthusiastic, telling them about the friends she'd made. Ari had made some friends too. Ziva told them about Tony, Abby, and Tim; even briefly mentioning the boys she'd met at lunch. She excluded all mention of Kate, E.J., and Jeanne.

After dinner, Eli disappeared into his study, as usual. Ziva and her siblings went off to do homework. Tony did end up texting her for help, and even after homework had been finished, they kept talking. Ziva enjoyed talking with him. Back in Israel, she did have a few friends, but they weren't as exciting and funny as her new ones.

Around ten p.m., Ziva heard yelling coming from down the hall. She knew without listening to the words that it was her parents. They had been fighting a lot these days. Tony had signed off and gone to sleep a few minutes before, so Ziva slipped out of her room and down the hall. Peeking into her parents room, she saw that yes, they were fighting. Loudly. Rivka got mad, and after swearing at Eli in Hebrew, began marching toward the door. Not wanting to get caught, Ziva rushed into the closest room: Tali's.

Tali jumped when Ziva appeared in her room. "Geez, Zi, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Hiding," Ziva said. "Be quiet."

Tali giggled, eyes twinkling mischievously. "Spying on Abba and Ima again?"

Ziva laughed too. "Yes, Tali, if you must know." Once she knew Rivka had gone, Ziva slipped out of her sister's room and into her own. Ziva prepared for bed; brushing her teeth in the small bathroom she shared with Tali, combing her unruly curls, and climbing into bed. Just as she drifted off, she heard the yelling begin again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **All characters you recognize still aren't mine.

XXX

Chapter 2

The next two weeks passed quickly. Ziva spent most of her days with Tony, Abby, and Tim. She'd had a few near run-ins with Kate and her posse, but managed to avoid any awkward situations. The four of them had even gone out to see a movie one weekend. Ziva found that she was very happy in D.C.; happier than she'd ever thought.

For now, that was.

It was a Wednesday afternoon. Tony and Ziva were sitting in study hall, looking over their History notes for a test they were having on Friday. Ziva was quizzing him about the parts of the Declaration of Independence when she heard her name on the intercom.

"Ziva David and Ari Haswari, please come to the main office." Ziva gritted her teeth as the secretary mispronounced her name, but stood anyway.

"I will be right back," she told Tony. He nodded, his head still mostly buried in her neatly written notes, and she walked off. Ziva met Ari on the way to the office.

"I wonder what they want," he grumbled. She nodded in agreement. They entered the office and the secretary told them to _hold on a moment_ as she went to alert the principal. She then waved them into his office.

Principal Thomas was a small man with thinning hair and glasses. He looked up from his computer as they walked in. "Ah, hello," he said. "You are Ziva and Ari?" They nodded. Mr. Thomas suddenly looked apprehensive. Ziva and Ari exchanged a nervous look.

"Why were we called down here, Mr. Thomas?" Ari prodded politely.

Mr. Thomas cleared his throat. "Your father called. Your…your mother was brought to the hospital this morning. She slipped and hit her head. From what your father said, it doesn't look good." Ziva's hands flew over her mouth and she gasped. Ari looked shocked, speechless. "I'm so sorry." Ziva whimpered and collapsed into one of the chairs in front of the principal's desk. Ari squeezed her shoulder and she dropped her hands into her lap.

"Tali," she gushed. "Tali. Does Tali know?" Mr. Thomas frowned.

"Who is Tali?" he asked.

"Talia David," Ari answered, "our little sister. Does she know?" The principal nodded.

"Ah, yes. Your father is picking her up before he comes here. He should be here soon, actually. Why don't you go get your books and then come back here? He'll probably be here by then."

Ari nodded. "Okay," he whispered. "C'mon, Zi." Pulling her along, the two of them got up and headed back to their classes. Ziva rushed back into the library, hoping no one would see her tears. She walked up to the table Tony was at and began stuffing her books into her bag. Although she tried to look away, he saw the tears in her eyes.

"Ziva, what happened? Where are you going?" he asked, worried. Ziva sat down for a minute, gripping the edge of the table.

"My father called the principal. My mother hit her head and was brought to the hospital. He said…he said it did not look good." She swiped at a tear falling down her cheek.

"Oh, my God," Tony gasped. "Is that where you're going?" Ziva nodded. "I hope she's okay."

"Me too," she whispered. "I have to go. Ari is waiting."

"Okay," Tony said. "Will you call me tonight and tell me…how things are?"

"Yes, of course. Goodbye," she said, and walked off. As he watched her leave the library, Tony sent a silent prayer that Ziva's mother would be alright.

XXX

By the time Ziva returned to the office, Eli was already outside. Ari rode shotgun, and Ziva climbed in the back with Tali. She was crying too, but worse than Ziva. Ziva pulled her little sister close and stroked her hair all the way to the hospital. The only sound in their car was the sound of Tali's crying and Ziva's quiet reassurances. Ari remained calm, although he might have still been in shock. Eli didn't speak.

They arrived at the hospital in ten minutes. They met a doctor in the ER; his name was Dr. Matthews. He told them that Rivka was still in surgery. It was clear he wanted to share other details, but the sight of distraught Tali stopped him.

"I don't think your daughters should be around to hear this," Dr. Matthews suggested. Eli looked at his daughters.

"Ari, take Ziva and Tali. Go and sit down." Ari nodded, but Ziva wouldn't listen.

"No, Abba!" Ziva said. "I want to know what happened to Ima." She looked at him stubbornly.

"This is not up for argument, Ziva! Go with Ari, now." Pouting through her tears, she obeyed and sat with Ari and Tali. They watched as Dr. Matthews explained things to Eli, using the occasional picture or x-ray to help him. When it looked like he was finished, the doctor got a page. He said something to Eli, and they were beckoned back over.

"Your mother is awake," Dr. Matthews said. The three looked at each other hopefully. "But, um, don't get your hopes up. She's somewhat stable now, but the doctor who performed the surgery doesn't think she'll make it through the night. I'm sorry." Tali grabbed onto Ziva tightly, and Ziva gripped Ari's hand. The doctor led the four of them down the hall to a room, and opened the door.

The first thing they were met with was the beeping of many machines. The smell of antiseptic was heavy in the air. Ziva squeezed Ari's hand tighter as her eyes fell on her mother. Rivka had a bandage covering most of her head. She was sickly pale and looked as fragile as a china doll. Ziva saw her father gulp. Whatever he had been expecting, he hadn't been expecting _this._

"I-Ima?" Tali whispered cautiously, breaking the silence. Rivka's eyes fluttered over toward them.

"Ah, my children," Rivka said hoarsely. "Come here." The three of them walked over to their mother's bedside. Tali and Ari went on her right side, and Ziva and Eli went on her left. The two girls grasped their mother's hands, which were ice cold. Rivka tried to speak again, but all she could manage was a cry of pain. A different doctor, most likely the surgeon, rushed over.

"Be careful, Rivka," he warned. "Don't try to talk too much. It'll just aggravate your head." Rivka mouthed _okay_ and turned back to her children.

"Tell her about your day," Eli suggested. So that's what they did. They told Rivka about their friends and their classes; anything even remotely interesting to keep her mind off of her injury. About two hours after being there, Ziva looked at the clock. It was one-thirty. Eli had picked them up before lunch, so she suggested they eat. They told Rivka they'd be back, and went to the cafeteria.

When they returned, another doctor was changing the bandage on Rivka's head, so they had to wait outside. Ziva turned to Eli.

"Abba?" she said, and he turned and looked at her. "Do you think Ima will be okay? I…I am scared." Eli put an arm across her shoulders.

"Do not be scared, my Ziva. I'm sure that everything will be fine." But even through his tough-guy disguise, Ziva was pretty sure her father was scared too. They spent the rest of the afternoon by Rivka's bedside. Doctors kept pulling Eli out to talk to him after checking on Rivka, and each time he came back in looking more and more worried.

At six-thirty that evening, they were getting ready to get dinner, when Rivka started coughing. It didn't seem bad at first, but then she couldn't stop, and Eli called for a doctor. Tali wrapped her arms around Ziva tightly. Dr. Matthews and the surgeon rushed in and the three kids backed up against the wall; wanting to leave but finding themselves unable to move away. Rivka's coughing stopped, and she began to cry out in pain, from what the children didn't know. Her head, aggravated from the coughing fit, had begun to bleed again, and badly. Ziva began to cry too, as did Tali. Ziva was sure she saw Ari's eyes wet. But after the bleeding got too bad and the coughing started again, they were forcefully told to leave.

Eli took them back to the cafeteria, but none of them could eat. Ziva felt sick to her stomach, Tali was crying, and Ari stared into space. Eli had started pacing frantically, drawing the looks of many people in the room. After about five minutes of uncomfortable waiting, Dr. Matthews returned. He took them back up to the ER, outside of the closed door to Rivka's room, away from people. Nobody needed to ask. The news was written all over his face. Ziva was the first to comprehend - and to break.

"No!" she cried, her voice trembling. "No! Ima cannot be dead! _No!_" Tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," Dr. Matthews said, his face somber. Tali began to cry too, and even a few tears slid down Ari's cheeks. He pulled Ziva and Tali close to him, and the three children cried together. Eli stood there stoically, eyes trained on the ground, no emotion on his face. Ziva wanted to yell at him. _Why are you not crying, Abba?! Ima just died! She was your wife! How can you just stand there like nothing happened?_

Ziva cried all the way back to their house. When she finally escaped to the solace of her room, she sat on the edge of her bed and looked her favorite picture of her and Rivka. It had been taken at Ziva's last dance recital. She had been ten. Ziva held the picture close to heart, and when she listened she could hear Tali crying down the hall. She didn't hear Ari's music playing in his room. Even Eli wasn't making any noise. Ziva realized for the first time how hollow she felt.

And Ziva realized that for the first time, the David household felt truly and utterly empty.

XXX

_A/N: How did I do? I'd love to hear your ideas/opinions!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I feel like I've said this before...

Chapter 3

She had been home for almost an hour by the time she remembered she'd told Tony she would call. Even though it was quite late by that point, Ziva knew she needed to call anyway. One, because she had promised, and two, she really needed to talk to a friend. She dialed his number, and he picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?" Tony said. He sounded surprisingly awake for ten at night.

"Hi Tony," she said, her voice quiet. "It's Ziva."

"Ziva, what happened? Is everything all right?" She heard the genuine worry in his voice. Tears slid silently down her cheeks.

"She is dead," Ziva whispered into the phone, the words sticking in her throat. "My mother is dead." Before she could try to stop it, she began to sob heavily.

Tony sighed, feeling her pain. "I'm _so_ sorry, Ziva. I'm so sorry."

Ziva choked out more tears, trying desperately to calm down. "It is so quiet in my house now. Ari is not even listening to his music. All you can hear is us crying. And my father does not even care that she is dead."

"What?" Tony asked, shocked. "I'm sure your dad cares. His wife just...just died."

"I know! But he did not cry. He did not _talk_. He just said _'Come, my children'_ and took us home. He looked at us like we were stupid for crying."

"I'm sure that's not true. Maybe he just doesn't want you and your siblings to see him cry."

Ziva laughed mirthlessly, bitter and hollow. "My father does not _cry_, Tony. He hates and he laughs. That is who he is. But just once I wish he would cry. Tali and I have plenty of tears to share."

Tony heard the sharp pain in her voice and let her words sink in. _Her own father didn't care._ No wonder Ziva was hurting extra. "I'm really sorry, Ziva. Is there anything I can do?"

"I…I do not know. Just…please help me through this," she said, almost begging him.

"Of course Ziva," he said immediately. "I promise."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Always," Tony said. With nothing else to say, they said goodnight and hung up. Ziva put her phone in her bag and went into the bathroom. Tali was already there. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were wet. Without talking, Ziva went over to her little sister. They brushed their teeth in silence. Ziva brushed Tali's hair and French braided it just like Rivka used to do every night. Tali did the same to Ziva. She walked Tali back into her room, sitting on the end of the bed as her sister lay down.

"Who were you talking to before?" Tali asked.

"My friend Tony," Ziva answered. "I promised to tell him what happened. He is a good friend." Tali nodded.

"Can you sing?" she asked quietly. Ziva sighed and looked away. She hadn't sung to Tali in years. Usually Rivka did. But now, Rivka was gone. Ziva nodded and adjusted her position on the bed and began singing an old lullaby their mother used to sing when they were young. By the time Ziva had finished the song, Tali had dropped off to sleep. "_Leila tov_, _tatelah,_" she whispered, using Rivka's nickname for the girls. Smiling slightly, Ziva pulled the covers up over Tali and turned to leave. She jumped when she saw Ari standing in the doorway.

"You are a great singer, Zi. I had no idea you sang so well," he said.

Frowning at the compliment, she said, "Thank you. How long were you standing there?"

"I don't know." His voice trailed off, and Ziva could tell his mind was elsewhere. As she swept her eyes over his face, she saw that he had been crying too.

"Ari, what are we going to do now, without Ima?" she asked cautiously, scared for the answer.

He sighed. "I don't know, Zi. Eli will be doing whatever he is still doing with Mossad." Both children grimaced at the name of the Israeli Foreign Intelligence agency.

"Why is he still working with them? We are no longer in Israel. That is the main reason we moved here: to get rid of Mossad," Ziva said, a flash of anger in her voice.

"Yes, I know. But Eli is still the director over there. Now that Rivka is…dead…he will do whatever he wants. Including…" Ari trailed off again, looking away.

"…Recruit us for Mossad," she finished. He nodded.

"Don't worry about that, my little sister. You should get to sleep."

"You know I will not be able to sleep," she stated.

"I know. I probably won't be able to sleep either. But please try. You got Tali to sleep, after all."

Sighing in defeat, she walked to the door and hugged him goodnight. "_Leila tov, _Ari."

"_Leila tov,_ my little sister." Ziva walked into her room and put the picture of her and Rivka under her pillow. As she lay in the darkness, she realized how much she missed Rivka. The empty whole in her chest was like a dark pit in the middle of her being. Her heart ached for her mother. Ziva fell asleep that night, tears streaking down her face, singing Rivka's lullaby in her head, over and over again.

XXX

_Ziva walked down the empty hallway. She didn't recognize the place at first, until she reached the heavy wooden doors. She was at her synagogue back in Tel Aviv. She walked inside, up to the front pew. Her family's pew, the one they had sat in every week until they had moved. She sat down in the seat closest to the aisle. She placed her head on her hands and began to pray quietly._

"_Ziva, my child," a quiet voice said. Ziva jumped at her name and looked up. There was only one person who ever called her 'my child' - Ima._

_Sure enough, Rivka was standing up in the front of the synagogue, near the Ark. "Ima," Ziva whispered. "What are you doing here?"_

"_I'm visiting you, tatelah. What else would I be doing in our synagogue?" Rivka laughed - a sweet sound that Ziva rarely heard. Ziva smiled too._

"_I miss you, Ima. We all do - even Ari. I do not know about Abba, though." Rivka shook her head and knelt down next to Ziva._

"_Do not worry about your father, Ziva. He can take care of himself."_

"_But who will take care of us? He does not understand our pain." Rivka placed her hand over Ziva's. It was surprisingly warm, not cold like it had been at the hospital._

"_You will take care of each other. I know you will. Ari will watch over you and Talia. Do not worry, my child."_

_She opened her mouth to say something more, but all of a sudden Rivka was gone. The synagogue was gone. Ziva stood alone in a dark, empty field. She stumbled forward, looking for something, anything. A few minutes later, she heard the screaming and crying of a child. She recognized it immediately, for it was Tali._

_Ziva rushed forward into the darkness, but she could not find her sister. All of a sudden, the world exploded in a white light. She couldn't see anything but white. The world finally quieted down, back to black. Tali's cries were gone, this time replaced with talking, but she couldn't make out words. Ziva could hear Ari's laughter. But it wasn't the happy, carefree laugh Ziva loved. It was evil, calculating. Scary. She tried to find Ari, but couldn't._

_Once again, the world exploded in light, but this time it was red, the color of blood. When the world was black again, Ari's laughter was gone. She couldn't hear anything. Without warning, gunshots exploded in the air. Not knowing where they were coming from, Ziva hit the ground. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears. She heard her father shout out her name._

"_Abba, where are you?" Ziva called. Eli called out her name again, and then everything was silent. The gunshots stopped, but she could no longer hear her father's voice. Ziva stood up slowly, shaking from fear. She saw a faint light up ahead, and she made her way toward it. When she reached it, she saw it was light coming from a window. It was her house in Israel. She walked inside carefully._

"_Ima?" she called, her voice quivering. "Abba? Tali? Ari?" She was only met with silence. Ziva turned the corner to her family room and gasped. _

_Ari and Tali were standing in the center of the room, back to back. Two men, bigger than Eli, were pointing guns at them. Tali was crying silently, and Ari shook with fear. Rivka was up against the back wall opposite Ari, screaming silent screams. It was exactly how she had looked in the hospital before they had been ushered out. Eli was slumped against the wall across from Tali. He was bleeding, but Ziva couldn't tell what from._

_Suddenly, Ari turned and looked at her. His eyes were haunted and scared. "Ziva, run!" he shouted. Out of nowhere, another man who had been hiding in the corner began coming toward Ziva. She spun on her heel and ran from her house, back into the darkness. She tripped over things she couldn't see, but kept running. She could hear the heavy footfalls of the man behind her. Ziva stumbled and fell, but picked herself back up. She ran only a few more feet before someone grabbed the back of her shirt. Ziva screamed, the sound shrill and loud in the dark._

"_Gotcha!" the man said, his voice rough. Ziva struggled pointlessly. She felt herself being dragged backward, and she screamed again. She heard Ari's voice echoing in the darkness._

"_Ziva, run!"_

XXX

_A/N: So, this was a little different. Any ideas on where it should go? I'd love to hear what you think!_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I apologize for this chapter taking so long. I hope you like it! Warning for slight language._

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own NCIS.

Chapter 4

Ziva sat straight up in her bed, heart pounding. There was a sheen layer of sweat on her forehead. She flicked on her bedside light and checked the time - 5:45 a.m. There was no point in going back to sleep, and it's not like she'd be able to sleep anyway. Slowing her heartbeat, Ziva got out of her bed and made her way into the bathroom. Her reflection in the mirror was scary. Her face was as white as a ghost, her eyes were bloodshot and haunted, and her brow was wet with sweat. She took a deep breath and got into the shower, trying to wash away all of the memories of her nightmare.

When she got out, the rest of her house was waking. Ziva dressed in a black t-shirt and black cargo pants. She knew it looked a little dismal, but she couldn't help it. Tali came into the bathroom a little after six, where Ziva was straightening her hair after she had combed and dried it. Something about her must have given away her disturbed night, for Tali frowned when she saw her sister.

"Are you okay, Zi?" Tali asked. "You look scared." Ziva finished her hair and slid a brush through it once.

"I am fine Tali. I just miss Ima." Tali nodded silently and Ziva left her sister to get ready. Knowing she was early, Ziva sat on the end of her bed, wondering why she had just lied to Tali. She certainly wasn't fine; you could see it in her eyes. But she didn't want to worry Tali with the troublesome dream she'd had. Ziva needed to take care of her sister, not scare her.

XXX

The bus ride was noisy, as usual, so Ziva didn't have an excuse to talk to Abby. She wanted to tell her friend about what had happened, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. Not without crying, anyway. She settled for listening to her music and watching Abby laugh with the other kids.

Ziva said goodbye to Abby as they got off the bus and walked robotically to her locker. Before she got very far, someone grabbed her arm from behind. Ziva jumped and spun around, but it was only Ari.

"What do you want, Ari?" she asked, her anger coming out in a sigh. He relaxed and let go of her arm.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Tali said you were acting funny this morning."

"I am fine. Tali was just worrying. We are still recovering."

Ari nodded. "Okay. You know where to find me if you need anything." Ziva nodded too and continued down the hall. When she reached her locker, Tony wasn't there yet. Ziva opened her locker and grabbed her books for English. She jumped again when someone tapped her shoulder rather roughly. She turned around and found herself face to face with Kate.

"Can I help you?" Ziva asked quietly. Now wasn't the best time to be talking with her least favorite person.

"Where's DiNozzo?" Kate snapped.

Ziva shrugged. "I do not know. He is not here yet, I suppose." E.J., obviously mad, pushed forward past Kate and got in Ziva's face.

"Where the hell is he?!" she practically shouted, jabbing Ziva in the shoulder. Angry now, Ziva shoved E.J.'s hand away.

"I _told_ you, I do not know where he is. Now get the hell away from me." Before E.J. could make another smart remark, Tony walked up. He grabbed E.J.'s arm and pulled her away from Ziva.

"You got something you wanna say, Barrett? Well, say it to me, _not _my friends," he said forcefully. E.J. looked shocked, but recovered quickly.

"Yeah, I got something to say," she snapped. "Why the hell were you and your stupid friends catcalling outside of my house last night? Do you really want my mom on your asses again?!" Tony laughed in her face.

"Oh, sometimes you're so thick, Barrett. I've outgrown those stupid pranks. Go ask Ray and Adam. They'll give you an answer," Tony said. Still fuming, E.J. walked away, Kate trailing not far behind, with Jeanne pausing to look apologetically back. Sobering, Tony turned back to Ziva. She was quiet and looked smaller somehow as she watched the girls walk away. She was gripping her books tightly and leaning on her locker as if her knees might give out any second. He went and stood beside her.

"How are you holding up?" he whispered with genuine concern in his voice. Ziva looked at him and shook her head.

"It is terrible. The silence in my house is almost unbearable. But the nightmares are the worst."

"The nightmares?" he asked.

"Yes," she said softly. "I had a nightmare last night. I saw my mother dying and Tali was crying and Ari was scared and my father was bleeding. There were men pointing guns at Tali and Ari. Ari screamed for me to run. I did run, I got caught, and then I woke up." By the time she had finished, Tony had gotten his books and Ziva was breathing rapidly and on the brink of tears.

"I'm so sorry, Ziva." Knowing there wasn't much else to be said but something needed to be done, Tony put his arm out. Accepting his offer, Ziva leaned forward and allowed him to hug her. He was about five inches taller than her, but she didn't mind. She leaned her face in his shoulder, arms wrapping cautiously around him. Tony rubbed her back and rested his chin on the crown of her head. At the sight of Abby and Tim down the hall, he whispered a warning in Ziva's ear and they separated. Ziva took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, turning around and getting ready to face her friends.

"Good morning, Tony, Ziva," Tim said as they walked up.

"Morning guys," Tony said, speaking for the two of them. Ziva just nodded, not trusting her voice to work. The three others chatted for a bit, but by then Abby realized that Ziva was being awfully quiet.

"Hey Ziva, are you okay?" Abby asked, frowning. Ziva's eyes flew up nervously to meet Tony's, and he nodded encouragement.

Ziva cleared her throat. "Um, no Abby, I am not okay. My mother, she…um...she died last night." Abby gasped.

"Oh, my God, Ziva I'm so sorry!" she cried, and enveloped Ziva in a crushing hug. Ziva's eyes misted up again, and she was relieved to hear the bell that signaled that they needed to get to class. Tim gave her a quick hug and an apologetic smile. Ziva walked off with Tony, trying again to calm herself down. He glanced over at her, worried.

"Are you sure you want to go to class?" he asked. "You know you don't have to do this. Nobody would be mad at you if you went to the nurse, or home, for that matter."

Ziva shook her head. "No, I cannot go home. It would be worse there. And adult sympathy is the worst. I got enough from the doctors last night." She cleared her throat again as her voice broke. "I need to do this; for me and my mother."

Tony nodded. "Okay. But if you need anything, don't be afraid to ask me."

"Okay," she whispered. "Thank you."

"Always."

XXX

The rest of the morning passed quickly, and before Ziva knew it, she was standing in the lunch line with Tony. She wasn't really paying attention, lost in her thoughts, and she jumped when Tony practically yelled her name.

"Huh? Oh, sorry Tony. What did you say?" Tony smirked a little.

"I said, 'Ari is heading over here'. I just wanted to give you a heads up." Ziva turned around. Sure enough, Ari was headed their way, looking almost as stoic as Eli.

"Hey Zi," he greeted when he reached them. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure. What do you want to tell me?"

Ari sighed. "Not _here,_ silly. In private." Ziva glanced at Tony.

"Why can you not tell me here?" she asked, her tone showing her slight irritation.

"God, Ziva you're so stubborn!" he exploded. "This is about Rivka, and your buddy doesn't need to hear it." Ziva's anger was building, and both boys could now see it.

"He is not my _buddy_, Ari, he is my _friend_. Now if you do not mind, I would rather not talk about Ima right now. It is not the time or the place. And before you ask, _I am fine_." Ziva spun around, her back to her brother. Ari mumbled something in Hebrew and stalked off, the only words Tony recognizing were their parents' names. As soon as he spoke, Tony watched Ziva flinch like she had been punched, and her eyes welled with tears.

"_Ben kelev_," she muttered under her breath. Tony looked at her with concern as she wiped angrily at her eyes.

"What…what did he say?" he asked hesitatingly.

"He said something very _rude,_ and it is not true." Tony watched her, waiting for a response. Ziva could feel his eyes on her. "He said, 'You do not care about Rivka. You will go to hell like Eli.'" Ziva blinked rapidly at the ground, wishing the tears would go away.

"Well that's...wow, that's mean. What a jerk. What did you say?"

Ziva managed a small smile. "Nothing better on the 'rude' scale - son of a bitch."

Tony snorted. "I'm sure your mother would be proud of those words."

"She taught me those words, Tony," she said. "She knew I would use them, wisely or not." Tony nodded in unspoken agreement. They grabbed their lunch and sat down with the guys at their normal table, and were greeted with their daily jokes and laughs. Ziva tried to get into their conversation, but had trouble keeping up, since her thoughts were elsewhere.

_Why did Ari say those things to me?_ she thought. _What have I done wrong?_ I_ am the one who cried over Ima first._ I_ was the first to understand. _I_ was the one who calmed Tali and got her to sleep._ I_ am the first to fall victim to the nightmares. Eli does not care about Ima and Ari does not either. I do care. So why am I the one being punished?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Unless something changed and no one told me, I still don't own NCIS.

_A/N: Thanks so much to all of you who continue to follow along with this story, it means a lot :). Warning for some colorful language in this chapter._

Chapter 5

Ziva went robotically though the rest of her day, Tony a constant by her side. When they separated later that afternoon to go to their buses, he reminded her that she could call him anytime, for anything. Abby followed Ziva onto the bus, and Jeanne trailed behind her. When Abby and Ziva sat down, Jeanne hovered over their seat.

"I heard about your mom," she said to Ziva. The latter breathed in sharply, eyes narrowing.

"Who told you?" she hissed.

"Your brother told me. He was practically announcing it earlier, like he didn't care. He acted like he wasn't even sad about it, but I can tell that you are. I know you don't think much of me, but I'm really sorry to hear about that. I truly am." And with that, Jeanne walked back to her seat. Ziva's hands shook with anger and sadness.

"Are you alright Ziva?" Abby asked. Ziva clenched her hands into fists and dug her nails into her palms to stop the incoming tears.

"No," Ziva snapped. "My prick of a brother has gone around telling people about this. This is a family issue, and other people do not need to get involved. I told Tony and Tim and you because you are my friends and I trust you. But I do not want the whole school knowing. Sympathy is the worst. I have had enough of that. Not only do I have to worry about watching over Tali, but I have to worry about Ari screwing up the life that I have wanted forever. And of course my ass of a father is worrying more about his ties in Israel than his family here. Plus, Ari said I do not care about my mother. Lies! And then he had the guts to tell me to go to hell." Ziva took a deep breath and finished her rant.

Abby sighed, feeling terrible for her friend. She knew Ziva had probably gone through more shit in her fifteen years of life than was fair for even the worst person alive. Abby reached over and put an arm around her friend's shoulders. "Hey, Ziva, look at me." Ziva turned her head, her eyes filled with heartbreaking sadness. "I have _no_ idea what you must feel like right now. But believe me when I say this: no matter what happens, I promise I'll be here for you. Me and Tony and Tim will be here for you, okay? You gotta know that."

Ziva managed a small, yet pure, smile. "I know, Abby. Thank you."

"You're very welcome."

XXX

When Ziva arrived home, she rushed into her room, desperate to get away from Ari. Her emotions were swirling and she didn't feel ready for a confrontation. She slammed her door and locked it. She sighed heavily and kicked off her shoes, sitting down on her bed. She pulled her picture out from under her pillow and stared at it, allowing her thoughts to wander.

_Why was Ari being so mean about Ima's death? Why had he told everyone about it? And why is Jeanne being...nice? Tony seemed to dislike her a lot. Is she different than the others? Is anything I have thought about anyone correct, or have I misjudged them all?_

Her thoughts were interrupted - again - by a knock on her door. "Ziva," Eli called. "Come out here please. There are people I want you to meet." Groaning and knowing that this couldn't _possibly_ be any good; Ziva got up and opened her door.

"What, Abba?" she asked, a little harsher than she intended.

"Come, Ziva, and be kind." Ziva followed her father downstairs. Tali and Ari were already there, along with two other adults Ziva didn't recognize. Ziva sat next to Tali on the loveseat and refused to look at her brother. She turned her attention to the two people sitting on the couch across from them. The woman was pretty and had short red hair, and looked very professional. The man had gray hair in a military-style haircut. He looked serious, but his blue eyes twinkled as they met hers.

"Children, I want you to meet Jenny and Jethro Gibbs. They are here for two reasons. One, being that I want you to talk to someone because it seems you might be having trouble coping with your mother's death."

"_Ziva_," Ari muttered darkly under his breath. Ziva shot him a death glare, and he snapped his mouth shut.

Eli continued, oblivious to his kids' jibes. "Secondly, they have kindly agreed to watch you for awhile."

"Watch us?" Tali interrupted, frowning. "Why would we need someone to watch us?"

"Because, Talia, I am going back to Israel. I have business to attend to and I need to bury your mother. They will watch you until I come back." Eli's voice was calm and impassive, as if he were simply talking about the weather. It made Ziva's anger, which had been simmering all day, begin to boil over.

"You are going back to Israel?!" she snapped, standing up, drawing the surprised attention of all in the room. "You are going to bury Ima without us?! You are leaving us without notice?! I am sorry, but I thought your children were more important than your work. I guess I was wrong. I guess we will have to just fend for ourselves, since we are the only ones around here who are suffering. Or maybe it is just me and Tali who are suffering. You obviously do not care enough to stay with us and make sure we do not become sick or depressed, or worse!" Ziva shoved angrily past her father and ran back upstairs, hot tears streaming down her face. Her thoughts were going wild.

'_Your father will take care of you,' Ima had said. 'Go to hell like Eli,' Ari had said. 'Your brother was announcing it, like he didn't care,' Jeanne had said. 'Can you sing?' Tali had said. 'I'm leaving for Israel,' Abba had said. 'Always,' Tony had said._

Ziva shut her door behind her and collapsed on her bed, her body shaking with sobs. Her father was a terrible person; he didn't care about them. Ari was just rude, showing no respect for his dead mother. Tali was just an innocent little girl caught up in the middle of an all too painful time. And Ziva was the broken one. She was the one being beaten on the inside; having her heart torn apart piece by piece. She was the one who couldn't stop crying and who couldn't stop the throbbing hollow piece of her soul that was missing. That piece had been taken away with her mother.

After a few minutes, her sobs quieted and her breathing slowed. She sat up and wiped her face, attempting to once again put herself back together. Someone knocked gently on her door.

"Ziva? It's Jenny. May I come in?" Ziva took a deep breath and set her features in a stoic mask, one to rival Eli.

"Yes, you can come in." Jenny opened the door and walked over to Ziva, and perched on the end of her bed. Ziva looked at Jenny and saw something she hadn't seen before: compassion, and care. Ziva saw something in Jenny that made it click inside her. She immediately felt herself trusting this woman, even though she knew nothing but her name. Ziva knew that Jenny understood her better than she thought. And, unlike Eli, she might stay and help her.

"Are you alright?" Jenny asked. Ziva shrugged, hating this question.

"I am okay. But I feel that no one understands us. No one understands _me_, and my pain. My friends try, but they do not know what it feels like. And then there is my family…" Ziva trailed off. She looked up at Jenny, a pleading look in her eyes; begging her to understand.

Jenny nodded, like she got where Ziva was headed. "What about your family? I can tell you and your father don't have the best relationship."

"That is a bit of an understatement," Ziva muttered, looking down. "Abba does not understand either. He does not care about Ima. He has continued with his life like nothing has changed. Ari has gone around telling people about this. He does not care either, nor does he have any consideration for my feelings. Tali…well, I do not really know how she is. We have not really talked much. I know she is upset, but she seems to have calmed down; accepted it, even."

Jenny waited for a moment before adding. "What about you, Ziva?" she asked quietly. Ziva looked away and took the picture in her hands once more. She looked at it as she spoke.

"I do not know how I am. I tell people I am fine, even though I do not think that is the complete truth. There is only one person that I have told that I am _not_ fine."

"Who?"

"His name is Tony DiNozzo. He is my best friend here. He is the only one who seems to understand me. He…he cares. He cares about how I am doing, when no one else does. And he is not overly sympathetic. I like that about him." A small smile appeared on Ziva's face, not escaping Jenny's notice.

"Do you like Tony?" Jenny asked.

Ziva looked up. "As a friend, definitely, yes. I do not know about something…_more_. It is complicated. I am in a bad time, and he knows that. I do too. But he gets me better than anyone else. He gets me, I get him. It is easy the way it is now. I do not want anything to be messed up."

Jenny nodded. "I get it. I've had that same problem before. But just watch out - you don't want to lose Tony. He sounds like a great person. Hold on to him, but not too tight."

Ziva nodded thoughtfully. "How long will you…you know, be here?" she asked hesitantly.

Jenny shrugged. "As long as we are needed, I suppose. Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering. Even though I will miss Abba, I, um, I trust you. And Jethro, I guess. But, um, thank you for listening, Jenny. It really helped." Jenny smiled and patted Ziva's hand.

"You're welcome Ziva. And remember, I'll be here whenever you need someone to talk to." Ziva nodded, and Jenny got up and left. Ziva exhaled slowly, allowing herself a relaxed smile, thanking her lucky stars that Jenny was in her life now.


End file.
